Shalom lakh, Island! (Hello to you Iceland!)

Having nudged 9uy, who also writes here, for a while, I was invited by him to write an article about how the devil an 18-year-old from Israel has so much interest and knowledge about Iceland.

So, where to begin?

I don’t quite remember where I first heard the name ‘Iceland’. I think it was in Disney’s film Atlantis—the main character mentioned finding some artifact in not in Ireland but in Iceland, or something like that, maybe earlier. Second time I came across Iceland was after I developed some interest in Ireland, and thought about that scene, so I went to look up ‘Iceland’ on Wikipedia. I found it had a beautiful language (though very hard), wonderful architecture, and very high standard of living—I found out about it during the merry 2007. Hence, being such a language geek, I pondered the option of trying to learn Icelandic (I had many, many other languages I had interest in), and eventually decided to go for it, trying to learn it through the University of Iceland’s website (but, alas, I did not have a sufficient dictionary to learn it with). Sigh, I just couldn’t resist saving it for summer, to try learning it in a week like Daniel Tammet…

The next step was trying to find many native Icelandic speakers on Wikipedia (again, I’m a geek). One of them actually added me to his MSNM (c’mon, would you answer if someone from Israel, of all places, asked you to teach him your super-unheard-of native language? Even if you think that person is a weirdo, that’s the beauty of the Internet: you can pretty much do nothing about it). We spoke a little, then he introduced to me some lad from England, who was also somewhat interested in Icelandic and said he could help me. But it seemed the true reason he gave him my MSNM address was that the boy was gay.

As days went by, I lost my interest in Iceland in favour of Irish and Russian (my ancestry is completely Slavic in origin; hence, when I want to hit on a cute boy or a girl, I say, ‘I’m Slavic, we invented vampires. Ain’t that sexy?’ Yes, I’m a geek, but they usually do find it sexy). Also, I started forming an unofficial long-distance relationship with him. He was the one who introduced me to Sigur Rós, but I wasn’t very fond of them then. Eventually, the relationship came to a rather ugly ending after several months.

Ever since that ugly ending, I couldn’t hear almost anything about England or Iceland without remembering him. But after a while (several months), I tried letting the daughter of close friends of the family listen to Sigur Rós, and became quite fond of them myself…

And so it happened. My ex-boyfriend, who had a great interest in Swedish, got me learning the basics, and from there I got my interest in Icelandic resurrected with a boom, to a great expense over my interest in Ireland. I found some mediocre dictionaries online. My interest went on-and-off, increasing every time, and now I am proud to say I know enough Icelandic for a pretty light conversation, and due to my daily reading of Icelandic news on Iceland Review, The Reykjavík Grapevine, and IceNews, and frequent reading of Icelandic subjects on Wikipedia and Google (geek…), I know more about Iceland than quite a few Icelanders.

Now, however, I stand before somewhat of a dilemma. You see, after my Swede-loving ex came another LDR, this time from California. He and I weren’t official, but planning a future together, wanting to make it official once we can get together, but we eventually broke up, because he wanted to stay at his hometown, Sacramento. And along came a young lass, living in Israel, who is more than happy to move with me to Reykjavík (or pretty much anywhere else, for that matter). I still have very strong feelings for him, but I’m also very fond of her. So now I have to choose whether I want to follow him or her, and best decide fast, lest one of them (or both of them) find someone of their own and I’ll just be left alone.

Hence, I started studying both Reykjavík and Sacramento thoroughly (well, mostly Reykjavík) to compare the ups and down of both cities, to help me decide (being a geek has its ups).

So, ups for Reykjavík:

• Iceland’s students were among the top ten countries in the world in literacy; Iceland itself has a 100% literacy rate. The U.S. did not (I don’t know about California individually).
• Iceland is a welfare country. Sacramento is in the Capitalist U.S.
• No dogs are allowed into Reykjavík without a special exception. (I am strictly a cat person.)
• Snow comes early, and, being from Israel, I’ve been almost completely deprived of the ability to play in the snow as a child. I need to fix that, and I’d really love to see my future children’s excitement with the first snow of the year. Sacramento is usually too hot for snow, and it usually just hails there instead. Plus, after reading Alana Odegard’s column about the kósí kvöld, I got a very nice and fuzzy feeling in me, as if I could feel the cosiness myself.
• Icelanders are much like Israelis, in their sense of easy-going attitude (Israelis have their own version of þetta reddast: yihye beseder, ‘it’ll be fine’) and straight-forwardness, only they’re much more individualistic, not as militant, and much more liberal (remember the historic victory of Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, a.k.a. ‘Jóbama’?). California is part of the U.S., a country in which people are often confusingly polite for Israelis: if an American says ‘maybe later’ about a suggestion, s/he means ‘NO’, but an Israeli would take it literally and just ask again later.
• Also, there’s little to no homophobia in Iceland, in particular not in Reykjavík. Well, at least one can’t be discriminated or encounter gay bashing there. No-one in Iceland thought it was much of a big deal Iceland’s new PM is a lesbian, and the most famous Icelandic female singer, band leader, and arguably techno musician are ‘that way inclined’ (Björk is bisexual, Jónsi Birgisson is gay, and so is Páll Óskar). Icelandic law allows same-sex marriage and adoption, as well as developing transgender-related laws. California passed Proposition 8.
• Iceland has a globally acclaimed theatre and orchestra, as well as a spectacular music industry, and damn, it has Iceland Airwaves. Reykjavík has its own internationally famed film festival; Gerald Peary from the Boston Phoenix called the festival ‘one of the best-programmed film festivals on earth, and with some of the most exciting guests’. Well, Sacramento has equivalent festivals of its own…
• Iceland never aired Big Brother, reading is very popular there, and Icelanders visit the theatre (with a stage and not a screen) very often.
• Iceland has its Northern Lights phenomenon. That’s just plain whopper.
• The Icelanders are very, very good looking. Even if it won’t be of, um, practical use, they can still be fun to look at.
• Reykjavík is one of the greenest cities on earth, disregarding the massive carbon emission.
• Unlike in the U.S., democracy in Iceland is so strong, the President himself can walk around without guarding without ending up like Olof Palme.
• Iceland’s healthcare system is the third best in Europe (though it might decline due to the kreppa, or maybe the other way around―some articles online indicate there’s a growing trend of establishing medical tourism in Iceland―but who knows?). The U.S. healthcare system isn’t even free.
• Even during the crisis, Icelanders have a great sense of humour. Also, Icelandic teenagers I’ve spoken to seem very nice.
• Iceland has a vast literary repertoire, written in a language that’s been almost frozen for centuries, which can be read even today.
• Iceland has a history to be quite proud of: having created one of the first parliaments in the world, having been the second country in the world to legalise abortions (after the U.S.S.R.), and having been the true first Europeans to step on American ground. California used to be a British colony.
• Iceland has E-label, which uses no live models in its catalogues and puts a middle-aged model on the front page (unlike, say, Israeli FOX). That’s progressive. I like that.
• Iceland most likely wouldn’t have many people with a good command of various languages as I would have once I’m done with all the languages I’m trying to master, which would give me a major cut above the rest when I try applying for jobs as a translator.

Now, to its downsides:

• Iceland is a very tightly knit community. This makes Iceland some sort of a huge kibbutz, in a sense.
• That might make me meet my ex much more often than I would like.
• Icelanders might not be homophobic, but they have a serious xenophobia problem to cover for it. One of the best examples of this is how immigrants are required to re-attend university in Iceland.
• Also, Iceland doesn’t handle immigration very well, resulting in said xenophobia, alongside many Polish immigrants who stay in Iceland for ages without speaking any Icelandic. Teenagers I’ve spoken to, however, don’t appear racist: many of my Facebook friends and I have a mutual black friend—named Unnur.
• I’ve heard from Icelanders—on blogs, on MSNM, &c. that many people have become much meaner because of the kreppa.
• Iceland has the second highest number of rapes per 100,000 people, after Greenland. I can never, ever endure belittling rape. Sacramento has similar stats (it has app. 500,000 people living in it; do the math), but it has harsher punishments.
• Iceland’s universities are not even among the top 500 of the world, while the University of Sacramento was one of the top 100 universities for a master’s degree in the West in 2007. And the University College of Los Angeles, which is among the top 50 universities of the world, is several hours of driving away.
• A solution arised that he and I settle in Roseville, California, which is about half an hour away by car from Sacramento, and it is the skinniest city in the U.S. Iceland, on the other hand, is developing an increasing obesity problem (and damn I wish I could re-find that article I read about it…).
• Iceland’s in an endless fight over its whaling industry.
• Iceland’s weather can be horrible. Even when it’s not, it’s pretty cold, and I’m sensitive to cold…
• Living in Iceland is quite expensive, at least so I’ve heard.
• They eat svið. Jesus, how the devil can you eat something that’s looking at you? And looking at you cutely?
• Iceland emits preposterous amounts of carbon.
• Aside of Iceland having created one the world’s first parliaments, Iceland also has some darker sides to its history, such as trying to ban black soldiers from serving at the American military base in Keflavík.
• Iceland’s in a bloody economic crisis! (Well, actually, so is California…)

Whew… That’s a lot indeed. Took me a huge amount of time to get all of this written down. Anyway, these are most of the considerations I bear in mind, asides from the obvious emotional part. The lad from California seems to represent to me some sort of childish innocence and connection with one’s inner child, while she seems to represent a more resilient, more ‘sophisticated’ life, even though both are very intelligent and connected to their inner child (though not on the same levels). I’ve still no idea which one I affect more, or what approach would make me happier…

Sigh, forsooth one’s joy is such a fickle thing.

By guest blogger An Cat Dubh from Magnum opus.